For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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