What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
This is my gift to your gina
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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