You smell like a Billy Joel song
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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