I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
