12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
