Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
