if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
