i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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