carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
