do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
