Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
