Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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