this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
