as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
