ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
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