Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
