My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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