Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Randomize
