I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
