Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
