On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
