u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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