Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
