Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
