you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
