i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
