Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
