Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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