p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Randomize
