I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
