Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
