please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
No...this little piggys going to the bar
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
