This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
