I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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