considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
