I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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