Your tits are I can't wait for
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
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