So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
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