So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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