I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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