My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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