Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
porn star boner night. come get it.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
