Me too!
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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