Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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