We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
