im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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