I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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