Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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