i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
