Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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